What We Did on Our Christmas Vacation – Part Deux
Today’s post is going to be entirely dedicated to exploring Ambras Castle in Innsbruck, Austria. When you hear “castle” you may think, “Oh, a king and queen lived here!” But alas, you would be mistaken. The highest ranking person to leave here was the lowly Archduke Ferdinand II, who, incidentally, was the second son of Ferdinand I. How did that happen? My guess is that the first son popped out and everyone agreed that he looked more like a Harry than a Ferdinand. Not that I have a clue what the first son’s name was, but I want him to be called Harry.
Anyway, back to the castle. Ferdie the Second had the existing medieval castle renovated in the 16th Century by a bunch of Italians. Everyone was going Italian in those days. He had it renovated so he could hide his wife away from everybody. You see, the poor dear had no royal blood–that is. she was not his cousin–and therefore deemed an unworthy spouse. However, love triumphs over all, and when it does, you get a castle out of the deal.
Ambras Castle. I think they kept Ferdie's "common" children hidden away in the little shed on the left.
This is the Spanish Hall, filled with beautiful paintings of the many rulers of Tyrol.
I absolutely love the circles of sky above each of the rulers heads. I'm not joking here. I know that I often do joke on this blog, but this time I am for real. It's such a fantastic, whimsical way of connecting all of the images below. Now you art critics out there, don't mock me if I sound simplistic. I'm just tellin' ya what I like.
This, however, I DO NOT like. I'm cool with three-headed people or even dragons. But three-headed hairless dogs? Shudder. Here's another question: What function is the lion's hide serving this man? Not warmth and certainly not modesty.
This is what happens during an economic crisis, people. Downsizing.
They may have scrimped on the windows, but check out this bathtub. This thing was at least 4 feet deep. They probably had 15 servants on hand simply to go get water for Ferdie's nightly baths.
A lovely little chapel at the back of the castle.
One of these things is not like the other... Apparently there was a giant who lived among the court and was the army's secret weapon. This was his actual armor. Although if you were there you would notice that all the other knights are less than 5 feet tall, and that one on the right was probably Ferdie's toddler son's. It's all about perspective.
Next came the "Chamber of Curiosities" which felt like we were at the circus side show. There was a whole family of hairy people at court, including this girl. Wow. Also included in the chamber were stuffed sharks, tree trunks with deer antlers growing out of them, and more paintings of people with deformities than I thought necessary. And then there was THIS:
AAAAGH!!! This dude got a jousting pole through his brain and lived. Even after they forced him to sit for a four-hour portrait session.
After seeing that, we left the Chamber of Curiosities with awkward smiles on our faces and ate some strudel.
That concludes our stay in Austria. Next up: “Where Heidi Would Have Stayed If She Ever Came Off The Mountain.”
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